Can someone please help me?!?

Have you ever thought that everyone in your family is dissapointed in you? All because you made a single mistake, for fuck sake yeah i made a mistake and borrowed money that was meant to be paying people back the money i borrowed off them in the Easter holidays. The thing is with me once money has gone into my bank account it gets taken straight out again but i cant budget for things and because of this i'm in £450 of debt and for this i'm getting treated like shit. People are refusing to talk to me because its like there ashmamed of me. I went to try and get some help about all the problems i've got and all they said is that i've got a lack of self confidence what a while of toss.

You know when your struggling that much you start being different around people and they can tell somethings up with you but you don't want to tell them because you dont want them worrying over it like i already am, i've been looking on websites for debt help but basically i'm screwed untill i can get some type of work that brings in a wage so i can start paying back my debts.

There getting that bad though now i'm struggling to keep up with the repayments and i've looked at getting another loan to pay the money i already owe out but i'll just get refused because i've got a terriable credit rating.

But seriusly what do you expect me to do i'm 18 and people are giving me money to spend but you dont think when you spend it that you have to pay it back but infact you do and now i'm trying to pay it all back i'm just struggling with all the pressure of other things in my life........

The "Other"

Invisible Monsters

“when you understand,” Brandy says, “that what you’re telling me is just a story. It isn’t happening anymore. When you realise that the story you’re telling is just words, when you can just crumble it up and throw your past into the trashcan,” Brandy says, “ then we’ll figure out who you’re going to be.”

Truer words never have been spoken…

Regaining perspective really is one of the best ways imaginable to help overcome something. Be it something you’ve already done or something you’re doing or something you’ve done. Just look at it again. Just look and tell yourself what it is. Tell yourself again and again until the words begin to mean nothing at all.

The only time you can’t really do that is when the words cannot lose meaning. Like a name. There’s a few names that do that for me. My family and the person I love.

 

But the past is just a story. Just a big bunch of words to us that don’t really have any meaning. Nothing more than a few lines of grammatically correct sentences. Words only ever have the meanings we give them. They’re not sentimental and anyone else can put the same words in the same order and get the same story.

I’m going to show you EXACTLY how I feel and I’m not going to say a single word. Just you wait world. You ain’t seen nothing from me yet!

One xxx

It’s me again

Still waiting for something big… or I think maybe I’ve found it for now. Since I never knew what was coming I can’t say for certain.

One xxx